Most of us know that the December holiday season is not all merry and bright for many people, however we feel somehow that it is supposed to be, and when it isn't for us, there is a disconnect that can be incredibly painful. Here are some ways to care for yourself during this holiday season:
When we use wellness strategies, mental health diagnosis and medication and see help guides to avoid acknowledging larger social concerns, we risk doing harm to ourselves and others.
According to attachment theory humans require an emotional foundation from which to hope and risk and venture out. I've shared where I find my security in hopes that you might discover yours.
If we have experienced trauma in our lives, our system may be on high alert and send adrenalin through our bodies even when it is not needed.
Anger has it's place, for sure, but it is important to also cultivate passion which is a motivator that produces more energy, rather than taking it away. In other words, what do you want to build? Can you model what you want to see in the world?
This study showed that people who scored 4 or more on the ACE questionnaire were seven times as likely to become addicted to alcohol.
We shame those "who can't handle their alcohol"and we shame those who don't drink when we want to. This is called a toxic culture.
If you can acknowledge grief and loss instead of minimizing or judging yourself for feeling it, then you will be able to heal and carry on.
We need to acknowledge this grief, in order to not lose hope. We need to acknowledge the size of the loss and it's repercussions. Then we need to search out those who share our desires for social change and partner with them. Sometimes we will need to simply grieve together.
A starting place in addressing intrusive memories is to understand that our memories are multifaceted and that each facet can be addressed in order to lesson their intensity and impact on us.