Historically, I have paid much closer attention to my dreams than to my nightmares, I have discovered that, like my waking life, looking closely at the things that cause me fear and shame, has been very effective in helping me to understand areas of my self that require attention and have, surprisingly to me, greatly reduced their intensity and frequency.
Georgia sprained her ankle recently and wants her husband to pick up the slack with the housework. Dennis wants the holiday time he asked for and was denied by his manager. Joyce wants her siblings to pitch in with caring for their mother who has cancer and is needing a lot of support. Sabrine wants her … Continue reading How to Ask for What you Want
Men learn that emotions, and emotional connection are, at best, distractions (unless they are a means to money or sex) and, at worse, anathema to true masculinity.
As women, most of us are told in one way or another throughout the course of our lives, that we are only really welcome in the world if our bodies are found to be attractive to other people based on the beauty standards of our time.
That compassion changed things for me. It felt like a re-write of my story. It felt like a shame lifter. It felt like I could forgive myself and even discover that no forgiveness was necessary. It was powerful.
I now know that putting my head back in the sand will never be possible and that decisions about opting in or out of various struggles will always be complicated.
Stories can heal. Stories can hurt. We get to make our own meaning out of our stories. Last June, a Netflix Comedy special went viral. "Nanette" by Hannah Gadsby started out as a classic stand up special with lots of jokes, and lots of self deprecation. Then the tone started to shift. It began to … Continue reading Healing Attachment Wounds – Telling the Story
Understanding the basic styles of attachment is the first step to healing any attachment wounds you may have.
"...the more you fail to experience your life fully, the more you will fear death." ---Irvin Yalom
People come to counseling for all kinds of reasons. There is no wrong reason to talk to a counsellor, here are some issues that counselling can be particularly helpful with.