Men learn that emotions, and emotional connection are, at best, distractions (unless they are a means to money or sex) and, at worse, anathema to true masculinity.
As women, most of us are told in one way or another throughout the course of our lives, that we are only really welcome in the world if our bodies are found to be attractive to other people based on the beauty standards of our time.
Being sex positive means not only accepting, but embracing and celebrating the wide spectrum of sexual expressions and identities that exist in our world ranging from highly sexual to asexual.
Imagine talking to your body parts lovingly, imagine them talking to you. These are your treasures that you get to keep
Our society has a history of toxic sexuality. Starting with the Puritans who saw sexuality as evil and needing to be 'cut off' shame and blame have been part of our relationship with our sexuality.
That compassion changed things for me. It felt like a re-write of my story. It felt like a shame lifter. It felt like I could forgive myself and even discover that no forgiveness was necessary. It was powerful.
When family members behave in ways that are abusive or unsafe, many of us respond with our childhood responses, fight, flight or freeze.
I now know that putting my head back in the sand will never be possible and that decisions about opting in or out of various struggles will always be complicated.
If your safety, housing, employment, human rights or mental health is at risk based on the outcome of a debate then you are a significant stakeholder in the debate and caring for your mental health is paramount.
A shared condition.