Feelings do not go away if you bury them, they cause damage internally which sometimes leaks into destructive behaviour, the kind which can put couples in crisis.
The question, at this point in history, while working our way out of a time when grief has been so pathologized, might be, how do we know when there is a problem with grief?
Passive aggression most often occurs when someone is angry and feels that they cannot express that anger overtly, and instead communicate it indirectly.
"They say they love me, but if they really knew, who I am... what I've done...."
We have power to act and and to influence another person's journey with mental illness, but we do not have all the power.
As adults, many of us fear our anger. We are used to avoiding it, hiding it away and then when it gets out, it feels too big to handle and causes damage in our lives.
In essence, “cheating” is when you breach the boundaries of the relationship which have been agreed upon implicitly or explicitly.
While there are many things that you can do to improve a relationship that you want to keep, for some, even when both parties have done all they know to do to save it, a decision may be made to end the relationship. What happens next can dramatically impact the level of upheaval to follow.
Whether it is a memorial service for a family member, a graduation at a school, the honouring of a historical 'hero,' or the celebration of a national holiday, lets make room for all the stories, all the feelings, and all the experiences.
Over the years, I have been inspired by the wisdom that so many of my colleagues carry and the love that many have for their jobs and the people they serve. I’ve have also seen colleagues struggle and lose hope while working in this field, and sometimes, in their ability to continue in this work.