Continuing to avoid things we know we will need to face means that we are carrying an extra weight, even when we think we are ignoring it.
Look at your history with conflict, in your family, in previous relationships, and consider how successful you’ve been at finding resolutions that work for all parties.
Feelings do not go away if you bury them, they cause damage internally which sometimes leaks into destructive behaviour, the kind which can put couples in crisis.
Passive aggression most often occurs when someone is angry and feels that they cannot express that anger overtly, and instead communicate it indirectly.
In essence, “cheating” is when you breach the boundaries of the relationship which have been agreed upon implicitly or explicitly.
While there are many things that you can do to improve a relationship that you want to keep, for some, even when both parties have done all they know to do to save it, a decision may be made to end the relationship. What happens next can dramatically impact the level of upheaval to follow.
When we rely completely on our partner for all of our relational needs, we risk overburdening our partners and asking for things that they may not possess. No one other person will be able to meet every one of those needs and if we are unwilling to look elsewhere to have them filled than we risk malnourishment in whatever area is lacking. The results of this, at an emotional level, varies from bitterness to depression, from anxiety to anger.
Consider ways in which another person could have the same goals as you, or goals that you would admire, and still make decisions and act in ways that appear contrary to you.
It sucks to find out that something you said or did hurt another person. It is scary to be accused of something that you didn’t do, or didn’t mean to do. It’s disheartening and sometimes enraging to be labelled a ‘bad person.’ But you are not alone.
I won’t say that we don’t put effort and resources into the ending of relationships, but all too often, this has less to do with honouring the ending, and more to do with getting even.