While there are many things that you can do to improve a relationship that you want to keep, for some, even when both parties have done all they know to do to save it, a decision may be made to end the relationship. What happens next can dramatically impact the level of upheaval to follow.
Whether it is a memorial service for a family member, a graduation at a school, the honouring of a historical 'hero,' or the celebration of a national holiday, lets make room for all the stories, all the feelings, and all the experiences.
Over the years, I have been inspired by the wisdom that so many of my colleagues carry and the love that many have for their jobs and the people they serve. I’ve have also seen colleagues struggle and lose hope while working in this field, and sometimes, in their ability to continue in this work.
When we rely completely on our partner for all of our relational needs, we risk overburdening our partners and asking for things that they may not possess. No one other person will be able to meet every one of those needs and if we are unwilling to look elsewhere to have them filled than we risk malnourishment in whatever area is lacking. The results of this, at an emotional level, varies from bitterness to depression, from anxiety to anger.
We don’t think of the fact that, as human beings, we don’t live in laboratories and so there are 1000’s of variable at play in each of our lives, even when we might have some big things in common. These variables will result in a wide variety of responses to similar events and experiences.
Consider ways in which another person could have the same goals as you, or goals that you would admire, and still make decisions and act in ways that appear contrary to you.
It sucks to find out that something you said or did hurt another person. It is scary to be accused of something that you didn’t do, or didn’t mean to do. It’s disheartening and sometimes enraging to be labelled a ‘bad person.’ But you are not alone.
work very hard to maintain the stance that each person knows their own self and situation best, and, as long as no one is at risk of being harmed, there is no one “right” decision.
The skills to stand up for oneself, to confront others, or to do ones own work are necessary ones and worthwhile developing.
Part I- Other People's Possessions, Successes & Talents