As adults, many of us fear our anger. We are used to avoiding it, hiding it away and then when it gets out, it feels too big to handle and causes damage in our lives.
While there are many things that you can do to improve a relationship that you want to keep, for some, even when both parties have done all they know to do to save it, a decision may be made to end the relationship. What happens next can dramatically impact the level of upheaval to follow.
It sucks to find out that something you said or did hurt another person. It is scary to be accused of something that you didn’t do, or didn’t mean to do. It’s disheartening and sometimes enraging to be labelled a ‘bad person.’ But you are not alone.
Dr. Atkinson lists the following 10 attributes of couples who report as very happy and are in long term relationships:
We cannot isolate which emotions to avoid feeling. They are all connected. If we avoid or ignore one, we risk reducing our entire range of emotional experience.
Lise Brown, a Winnipeg based Adventure therapist, talks about our fear of the outside; kids with knives, forest bathing; risky behaviour vs rope climbing; and knowing your limits.
When you feel the need to withdraw, when you feel pain, restlessness, irritation, sadness or discomfort consider what it is that you actually need to care for.
The problem with the way the diagnosis of BPD is being applied, is that, the individuals’ experience of trauma is often minimized or ignored.
While PTSD is becoming more recognized and treated, within the military, men experience trauma in a variety of other contexts.
Sometimes we get to a point where we risk losing relationships and potentially our own health, freedom, or life, as a result of things that we’ve said or done.