As women, most of us are told in one way or another throughout the course of our lives, that we are only really welcome in the world if our bodies are found to be attractive to other people based on the beauty standards of our time.
Fear in a relationship often oppresses both people within it. It is more likely to drive people apart then together. Love is a gift. A gift is only a gift if it is freely received. We need to remember that there is enough love for everyone.
You cannot force someone to love and care for you, or to stay in the relationship, you can only tell them what you need and ask for what you want.
While it is reasonable to ask your partner for support in the area that you feel insecure about, it is not appropriate to expect a lifelong agreement that is based primarily on unresolved fears and unhealed wounds from previous relationships.
People come to counseling for all kinds of reasons. There is no wrong reason to talk to a counsellor, here are some issues that counselling can be particularly helpful with.
The work of a couple is to determine what role porn plays in their relationship, what role it could play, if any, and how this works for everyone.
If your own personal morals and ethics permit you to observe two consenting adults engage in sexual activity, without guilt, for the purpose of your own enjoyment, then you may be interested in learning how to best support porn which uses legal and humane labour practices.
Our society has a tendency to continue to perpetuate fear and shame around sexuality, in ourselves and towards others. This shame results in lack of information which causes real harm to ourselves and others, and a difficulty identifying when something is causing real problems and when it is not. Fear will not help us with this. We need to examine our own beliefs about sexuality and porn, look at the information about sexuality and porn, and make decisions based on this.
...if you don't like your therapist, and/or you think your therapist doesn't like you, you are not likely to experience the changes your are hoping for.
Feelings do not go away if you bury them, they cause damage internally which sometimes leaks into destructive behaviour, the kind which can put couples in crisis.