Understanding the basic styles of attachment is the first step to healing any attachment wounds you may have.
We can feel attraction to another person's spouse, we can resent our children for the imposition on our lives, we can find relief at the death of a loved one. None of these feelings make us bad people. They are just feelings.
People come to counseling for all kinds of reasons. There is no wrong reason to talk to a counsellor, here are some issues that counselling can be particularly helpful with.
I had not been aware that in my tendency to minimize or avoid, what i perceived as negative emotions, I was also not noticing what actually felt really good.
Feelings do not go away if you bury them, they cause damage internally which sometimes leaks into destructive behaviour, the kind which can put couples in crisis.
The question, at this point in history, while working our way out of a time when grief has been so pathologized, might be, how do we know when there is a problem with grief?
Passive aggression most often occurs when someone is angry and feels that they cannot express that anger overtly, and instead communicate it indirectly.
As adults, many of us fear our anger. We are used to avoiding it, hiding it away and then when it gets out, it feels too big to handle and causes damage in our lives.
Whether it is a memorial service for a family member, a graduation at a school, the honouring of a historical 'hero,' or the celebration of a national holiday, lets make room for all the stories, all the feelings, and all the experiences.
If you have put all of your self-worth into one area of your life believing that this one thing is what makes you “valuable, important, worthy, lovable, etc.” then you are setting yourself up for a pretty big crash.