According to attachment theory humans require an emotional foundation from which to hope and risk and venture out. I've shared where I find my security in hopes that you might discover yours.
If we have experienced trauma in our lives, our system may be on high alert and send adrenalin through our bodies even when it is not needed.
Anger has it's place, for sure, but it is important to also cultivate passion which is a motivator that produces more energy, rather than taking it away. In other words, what do you want to build? Can you model what you want to see in the world?
This study showed that people who scored 4 or more on the ACE questionnaire were seven times as likely to become addicted to alcohol.
We shame those "who can't handle their alcohol"and we shame those who don't drink when we want to. This is called a toxic culture.
If you can acknowledge grief and loss instead of minimizing or judging yourself for feeling it, then you will be able to heal and carry on.
We need to acknowledge this grief, in order to not lose hope. We need to acknowledge the size of the loss and it's repercussions. Then we need to search out those who share our desires for social change and partner with them. Sometimes we will need to simply grieve together.
A starting place in addressing intrusive memories is to understand that our memories are multifaceted and that each facet can be addressed in order to lesson their intensity and impact on us.
"Chronic suicidal ideation takes so many forms. It can be fantasizing about passing during sleep, developing a terminal disease, dying in a tragic accident. Or it’s background noise, a staticky station whispering taunts you can almost, but never entirely, tune out." Anna Borges
In this process I came to fully understand that my memories and beliefs were not only thoughts or images but also emotions and bodily sensations and that all of these needed to be processed in order for true change and healing to happen.