Our society has a history of toxic sexuality. Starting with the Puritans who saw sexuality as evil and needing to be 'cut off' shame and blame have been part of our relationship with our sexuality.
We need to be better informed about porn. When we make parenting decisions based on fear and lack of information, we may do more harm than good.
The work of a couple is to determine what role porn plays in their relationship, what role it could play, if any, and how this works for everyone.
If your own personal morals and ethics permit you to observe two consenting adults engage in sexual activity, without guilt, for the purpose of your own enjoyment, then you may be interested in learning how to best support porn which uses legal and humane labour practices.
Our society has a tendency to continue to perpetuate fear and shame around sexuality, in ourselves and towards others. This shame results in lack of information which causes real harm to ourselves and others, and a difficulty identifying when something is causing real problems and when it is not. Fear will not help us with this. We need to examine our own beliefs about sexuality and porn, look at the information about sexuality and porn, and make decisions based on this.