When family members behave in ways that are abusive or unsafe, many of us respond with our childhood responses, fight, flight or freeze.
If your safety, housing, employment, human rights or mental health is at risk based on the outcome of a debate then you are a significant stakeholder in the debate and caring for your mental health is paramount.
A shared condition.
Is it safe to say when you are unhappy with something? Are you allowed to show weakness or not to know something? What kind of response will you get when asking for time off for a family emergency, for holidays, or for self care?
Passive aggression most often occurs when someone is angry and feels that they cannot express that anger overtly, and instead communicate it indirectly.
"They say they love me, but if they really knew, who I am... what I've done...."
We have power to act and and to influence another person's journey with mental illness, but we do not have all the power.
Over the years, I have been inspired by the wisdom that so many of my colleagues carry and the love that many have for their jobs and the people they serve. I’ve have also seen colleagues struggle and lose hope while working in this field, and sometimes, in their ability to continue in this work.
We don’t think of the fact that, as human beings, we don’t live in laboratories and so there are 1000’s of variable at play in each of our lives, even when we might have some big things in common. These variables will result in a wide variety of responses to similar events and experiences.
Most of us live with some amount of disappointment, anger or sadness related to our relationship with our parents.