Georgia sprained her ankle recently and wants her husband to pick up the slack with the housework. Dennis wants the holiday time he asked for and was denied by his manager. Joyce wants her siblings to pitch in with caring for their mother who has cancer and is needing a lot of support. Sabrine wants her … Continue reading How to Ask for What you Want
Fear in a relationship often oppresses both people within it. It is more likely to drive people apart then together. Love is a gift. A gift is only a gift if it is freely received. We need to remember that there is enough love for everyone.
While it is reasonable to ask your partner for support in the area that you feel insecure about, it is not appropriate to expect a lifelong agreement that is based primarily on unresolved fears and unhealed wounds from previous relationships.
The work of a couple is to determine what role porn plays in their relationship, what role it could play, if any, and how this works for everyone.
If your own personal morals and ethics permit you to observe two consenting adults engage in sexual activity, without guilt, for the purpose of your own enjoyment, then you may be interested in learning how to best support porn which uses legal and humane labour practices.
Our society has a tendency to continue to perpetuate fear and shame around sexuality, in ourselves and towards others. This shame results in lack of information which causes real harm to ourselves and others, and a difficulty identifying when something is causing real problems and when it is not. Fear will not help us with this. We need to examine our own beliefs about sexuality and porn, look at the information about sexuality and porn, and make decisions based on this.
Feelings do not go away if you bury them, they cause damage internally which sometimes leaks into destructive behaviour, the kind which can put couples in crisis.
In essence, “cheating” is when you breach the boundaries of the relationship which have been agreed upon implicitly or explicitly.
When we rely completely on our partner for all of our relational needs, we risk overburdening our partners and asking for things that they may not possess. No one other person will be able to meet every one of those needs and if we are unwilling to look elsewhere to have them filled than we risk malnourishment in whatever area is lacking. The results of this, at an emotional level, varies from bitterness to depression, from anxiety to anger.
When sexual connection has been lacking for a while, due to illness, overactive schedule, childbearing, child raising, or due to conflict that has just finally been resolved, it can be awkward and feel unnatural to sexually reconnect with your partner. In an earlier post "Sex- How much is Enough" , I talked about reasons why there might be … Continue reading Increasing Erotic Connection